DAUNTLESS BABY GIRL LAUNCHES CAMPAIGN ON KICKSTARTER TO BUY HIGH QUALITY DIAPERS
By Alicia Prescott
Saying that she is frankly tired of rocking the ‘same old, same old’ bargain diaper brands, Felicia Woodley told reporters this morning that, due to her parents’ low-income status, she had decided to take matters in her own hands by turning to crowd-funding in a last-ditch effort to improve the life quality of her bottom.
“I really gave some thoughts to it and I think Kickstarter offers the best platform there is to really help me achieve my goal,” said the tech savvy girl, adding off-the-record that she’d spent most of the night on it to draft her pitch and even spruce it up with cute selfies and a short promo video of her explaining to her potential backers how those B-grade diapers left her with rash and had a lousy soak-up capacity, were not wear-resistant and not only that but most were not even environmentally friendly.
‘The bottom line is wearing a cheap diaper is not worth it’ the video said. ‘Every dollar that you pledge will go toward helping me afford the best brand diapers currently in the market in 2014 according to trusted consumer reviews. So hook up a desperate little girl here…’
Felicia also added that not only she was hoping to buy a top selling brand that provided a great fit and comfort for her butt cheeks, and most importantly, kept her leak-free for at least ten hours for most of the day as she explored her surroundings, but she also admitted that her sights were on leading brands of premium stretch diapers that guaranteed overnight protection and were fragrance-free.
‘Look, all I’m asking is for some expensive brand that will keep in place during the night as I toss and turn in my bed. Because everyone deserves to sleep well at night, I do think the extra expense is totally necessary. Right now I’m thinking Huggies or Luv.’
‘It’s that or nothing, okay?’
The little baby girl with fancy taste went on to state that, because she believed one must give in order to receive, a treasure trove of perks along with her eternal gratitude awaited all her contributors who donated to her cause.
‘Don’t forget to check out the perks I have in store for you guys,” the promo video continued, because you guys are awesome and I want to show you how much I appreciate your reaching out to help me by giving away those awesome perks that I’ve personally crafted for your enjoyment. So make sure to claim your goodies for whatever dime you drop.’
The perks, which primarily consisted of signed selfies, bubbly prerecorded voice mails and a Deluxe Edition of her scribblings on a spiral-bound sketchpad just to name but a few, were reportedly said by sources to be highly imaginative for a seven-month-old munchkin.
Felicia concluded her promo video by saying that if – fingers crossed – she ever reached her stretch-goal, then she could also add to her diaper wardrobe Pampers Swaddlers because of its blanket-like softness and also because, all things considered, it is the only way to go for maximum comfort.
Felicia’s project is to be fully funded on June 6th if at least 350$ is pledged by then.
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