SKINNY LITTLE NEWS_TECHNOLOGY_LOCAL_Issue 01*12 July 18, 2013
FOR A FISTFUL OF ‘LIKES’
By Alicia Prescott
Tuesday_ After joining the billion plus of Facebook users last week and with still no likes on his page despite posting and networking extensively every night a little before bedtime, Benjamin Decker, 6-month old, told reporters he’s had it with all the sheer indifference the Facebook community (across the board) has shown him.
“Look, it’s 9pm and I’ve been logged in since this morning and I still don’t see any engagement of any sorts on any of my posts,” the young upset user said of his Facebook account which definitely seemed dull with no usernames next to the recognizable thumbs-up icons, though the page was full of nice mellow pictures of Decker smiling for the camera.
“I mean, either people are ignoring me or I just don’t know what the hell is going on”
In a last-ditch effort to score some likes, the baby boy reportedly added a new post that read: ‘tonight, I will kill myself by drowning in the bathtub’.
“Well, that’s it… Let’s see how many likes I get after that” Decker reportedly told himself while intently staring at his page for the first sign of notification to pop up.
At press time (two minutes later), and with still no show of reactions from any logged-in Facebook user, a resigned Decker was seen shrugging his shoulders, crawling down the bed and making his way to the bathroom.
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WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?
I WONDER WHAT IT”D BE LIKE TO LIGHT SOMEONE ON FIRE